Apr 2, 2010


There's a funny thing about band-aids-

You always feel like the best way to deal with them is to just rip it off quick, get it out of the way....

because there is this silly notion that it will hurt less,

But, what happens if the wound wasn't done healing?

And you spent so much time worrying about how much ripping off the band-aid will hurt, that you didn't stop to think that maybe you still need that band-aid.

There's nothing good about a healing wound in the open, so susceptible.

after much though
I've realized that

Maybe it's better if we just let the band-aids fall off on their own.

Apr 1, 2010


I make series of bad decisions.

And I find myself not trying to change that.

Some say it's stupid...

I say-
...well, at least it keeps things interesting.

Mar 27, 2010


I really have to stop using the phrase
                        "Turned up to 11".

Half the people I say it to don't understand the reference

                       And the other half are surprised I even know the reference-

makes for some very awkward chuckles.


So I've slacked.

                             A bit.

Ok. A lot.

                          But I missed you.
Quite a bit.

 So here are 6 impossible things before breakfast.

1. True love.
             Impossible... but it totally exists
2. Zombies
             There's a survival guide for a reason
3. Aliens
              Really? Only One planet in the infinity of space has life on it? Fat chance.
4. The world on the other side of your dryer where the socks disappear to
               If it doesn't exist.... where the hell are all of my socks?
5. The guy in the romantic comedy
               Where did the idea of this character come from? Write what you know. Apparently everyone who
                writes romantic comedies knows this one guy. He must be very popular.
6. Immortality
                Become famous. You'll live forever.

Dec 11, 2009


Admitting you have a problem is the First Step to Recovery.

I totally don't have a problem.

Oh well,
            Maybe next week.

Dec 6, 2009


The sexiest thing a man could ever say-

"Do you want me to negotiate a pay raise for you?"

You add Zombies to that and I'm in a perfect world.

Nov 28, 2009


Why is it that everytime i hit

"next blog"

i have to read about some random person's brats?

I don't care,

please stop blogging about them.


Dear Room,

Please stop spinning.




Is it strange that the name

Edward Cullen

genuinely strikes fear into my heart?

Also keep in mind that i am extremely Drunk.
That is all.

Nov 27, 2009


I've always wanted to be a writer-

But writing has lost it's glamor

No one Cares about the written word anymore.


I literally refuse to watch "Smart People" because the thought of watching

Dennis Quaid and Sarah Jessica Parker interacting

makes me nauseous.

Nov 12, 2009


Now Strangers are offering to clean my car....

So this is what rock bottom feels like....

...oddly familiar.


One Time,

I was drunk at DisneyWorld

watching Finding Nemo- The Musical

Side Note: Everyone involved with the production
should volunteered to be shot and killed
because it was so horrible

minding my own business

and the large woman next to me whipped out her tit and started breast feeding...

So i took a picture.

She gave me a look like i was the weirdo.

People today...

bunch of savages.