tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17781086609806822852024-03-14T01:51:20.605-04:00Lies and PersuasionsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-29610505952491885042010-04-02T15:20:00.001-04:002010-04-02T15:22:36.907-04:00XXX.There's a funny thing about band-aids-<br />
<br />
You always feel like the best way to deal with them is to just rip it off quick, get it out of the way....<br />
<br />
because there is this silly notion that it will hurt less,<br />
<br />
But, what happens if the wound wasn't done healing?<br />
<br />
And you spent so much time worrying about how much ripping off the band-aid will hurt, that you didn't stop to think that maybe you still need that band-aid.<br />
<br />
There's nothing good about a healing wound in the open, so susceptible.<br />
<br />
So-<br />
after much though<br />
I've realized that<br />
<br />
Maybe it's better if we just let the band-aids fall off on their own.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-12798454073488103842010-04-01T14:19:00.000-04:002010-04-01T14:19:59.110-04:00XXIX.<div style="text-align: center;">I make series of bad decisions.</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">And I find myself not trying to change that.</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Some say it's stupid...</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I say-</div><div style="text-align: center;">...well, at least it keeps things interesting.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-86237141530579959592010-03-27T02:57:00.000-04:002010-03-27T02:57:29.350-04:00XXVIII.I really have to stop using the phrase<br />
<br />
<br />
"Turned up to 11".<br />
<br />
<br />
Half the people I say it to don't understand the reference<br />
<br />
<br />
And the other half are surprised I even know the reference-<br />
<br />
<br />
makes for some very awkward chuckles.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-38696841972293111762010-03-27T02:41:00.000-04:002010-03-27T02:41:41.897-04:00XXVII.So I've slacked.<br />
<br />
A bit.<br />
<br />
<br />
Ok. A lot.<br />
<br />
But I missed you.<br />
Quite a bit.<br />
<br />
So here are 6 impossible things before breakfast.<br />
<br />
<br />
1. True love.<br />
Impossible... but it totally exists<br />
2. Zombies<br />
There's a survival guide for a reason<br />
3. Aliens<br />
Really? Only One planet in the infinity of space has life on it? Fat chance.<br />
4. The world on the other side of your dryer where the socks disappear to<br />
If it doesn't exist.... where the hell are all of my socks?<br />
5. The guy in the romantic comedy<br />
Where did the idea of this character come from? Write what you know. Apparently everyone who<br />
writes romantic comedies knows this one guy. He must be very popular.<br />
6. Immortality<br />
Become famous. You'll live forever.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-83322359776539023892009-12-11T01:26:00.000-05:002009-12-11T01:26:11.457-05:00XXVI.Admitting you have a problem is the First Step to Recovery.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I totally don't have a problem.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
Oh well,<br />
Maybe next week.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-54895723855354275812009-12-06T11:46:00.000-05:002009-12-06T11:46:38.389-05:00XXV.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">The sexiest thing a man could ever say-<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">"Do you want me to negotiate a pay raise for you?"<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">You add Zombies to that and I'm in a perfect world.<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-17672969181755380472009-11-28T03:42:00.000-05:002009-11-28T03:42:32.671-05:00XXIV.Why is it that everytime i hit<br />
<br />
"next blog"<br />
<br />
i have to read about some random person's brats?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I don't care,<br />
<br />
please stop blogging about them.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-61300634330320128442009-11-28T03:22:00.000-05:002009-11-28T03:22:11.849-05:00XXIII.Dear Room,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Please stop spinning.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Love,<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">Stephanie<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-68401123399649526482009-11-28T03:20:00.002-05:002009-11-28T03:30:30.551-05:00XXII.Is it strange that the name<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Edward Cullen<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">genuinely strikes fear into my heart?<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Also keep in mind that i am extremely Drunk.<br />
That is all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-76691213567121866892009-11-27T13:20:00.000-05:002009-11-27T13:20:09.665-05:00XXI.<div style="text-align: center;">I've always wanted to be a writer-<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">But writing has lost it's glamor <br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">No one Cares about the written word anymore.<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-68911120850523590702009-11-27T13:10:00.000-05:002009-11-27T13:10:39.867-05:00XX.<div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">I literally refuse to watch "Smart People" because the thought of watching<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Dennis Quaid and Sarah Jessica Parker interacting<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">makes me nauseous.<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-66909893309301600012009-11-12T00:34:00.000-05:002009-11-12T00:34:23.173-05:00XIX.<div style="text-align: center;">Now Strangers are offering to clean my car....<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">So this is what rock bottom feels like....<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
...oddly familiar.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-9603901608098424232009-11-12T00:27:00.000-05:002009-11-12T00:27:26.636-05:00XVIII.<div style="text-align: center;">One Time,<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I was drunk at DisneyWorld<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">watching Finding Nemo- The Musical<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">Side Note: Everyone involved with the production<br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">should volunteered to be shot and killed<br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">because it was so horrible<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">minding my own business<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">and the large woman next to me whipped out her tit and started breast feeding...<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
So i took a picture.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">She gave me a look like i was the weirdo.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">People today...<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;">bunch of savages.<br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-31065712436447118972009-11-07T21:14:00.002-05:002009-11-07T21:14:49.215-05:00XVII.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iGjsIehuKS8/SvYpaiL6-iI/AAAAAAAAACc/UPOoQT14-7E/s1600-h/Hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_iGjsIehuKS8/SvYpaiL6-iI/AAAAAAAAACc/UPOoQT14-7E/s320/Hug.jpg" /></a><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Hug?<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Art Work By Stephanie De John<br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-41980613144736866682009-11-07T11:50:00.001-05:002009-11-07T12:06:35.959-05:00XVI.Dear Lady in the car next to me who is doing her make up and is in curlers,<br />
<br />
Nice.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
StephanieUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-2927229159257832642009-11-04T20:45:00.000-05:002009-11-04T20:45:32.905-05:00XV.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iGjsIehuKS8/SvIt0x1yDKI/AAAAAAAAAB0/mGdbfxZBI0Q/s1600-h/Children%27s+Book.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_iGjsIehuKS8/SvIt0x1yDKI/AAAAAAAAAB0/mGdbfxZBI0Q/s320/Children%27s+Book.jpg" /></a> <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I'm thinking of Writing a Children's Book</span></span>-<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">The Most Awkward Halloween Party</span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">By Stephanie De John </span><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-32614166884266945032009-11-04T10:16:00.000-05:002009-11-04T10:16:30.831-05:00XIV.<div style="text-align: center;">I signed into myspace for the first time in a long time<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">and i had a bunch of messages<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">"Hey sweetie, add me"<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">"Lookin hot, we should talk sometime"<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">and so on and so forth.<br />
</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">But there is just one that is so good i have to share it with the world.<br />
</div><br />
Title: Please Endeavor to Reply<br />
<br />
Subject:<br />
Hi ya, I enjoyed going through ya profile. Its very interesting u know....I wanna know you better....I like making my friends happy....There is this saying that whatever you give to a woman she multiply it and give it to you double....Example give her money...she give you a palatable meal....Give her a warm smile...she give you happiness at home....Give her sperm...She give you a lovely kid.....Cheerio pretty...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">He was from Nigeria though, so maybe this is an acceptable pick up line.<br />
</div><br />
<br />
<br />
And i thought the worst pick up line i've ever gotten was:<br />
"I'd like to gang bang you, without the gang."Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-9030381671920363692009-11-03T14:08:00.000-05:002009-11-03T14:08:05.070-05:00XIII.Are people shocked at this news?<br />
<br />
Because all I can think when I read the Headline:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">"Pet Bear Kills Pennsylvanian Woman"<br />
</div>is:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Well, Yeah. It's a bear.<br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-3709936464957095572009-11-02T22:40:00.000-05:002009-11-02T22:40:02.305-05:00XII.So....<br />
<br />
Where are all those nice,<br />
awkward,<br />
borderline creepy,<br />
wildly attractive,<br />
geeky guys<br />
that the movies tell us exist?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-51276677615580256332009-11-01T14:43:00.000-05:002009-11-01T14:54:02.846-05:00XI.Driving down the road, I saw a sign that said:<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">"GIVE BLOOD"<br /></div><br />So I did.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I'm beginning to get the feeling that i'm very impressionable.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-26804995344100661362009-11-01T14:30:00.001-05:002009-11-01T14:34:00.943-05:00X.<div style="text-align: center;">When People ask me "What's good?"<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I sincerely have no idea how to answer them.<br /></div><br />Do I say- "Nothing much."?<br />That sounds very pessimistic.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">But if i say-<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Massages."<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">"Kobe Beef."<br /></div>or<br /><div style="text-align: center;">"Zombies"<br /></div>I get looked at funny.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: right;">I'm just trying to answer your question.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-82125170665953374392009-10-31T12:19:00.000-04:002009-10-31T12:21:42.752-04:00IX.<div style="text-align: center;">You know your friends think you have bad taste in men<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">When they try to set you up and you have to ask<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">"Does this one have a job?"<br /><br /><br /></div><br /><br />And they reply,<br /><br />"Since when does that matter?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-23452400011159601292009-10-31T12:16:00.001-04:002009-10-31T12:17:21.125-04:00VIII.<div style="text-align: center;"><br /><br />"Just for Men" commercials<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">really just shout out Mid-Life Crisis.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-35463123487460556592009-10-31T10:50:00.000-04:002009-10-31T10:51:45.609-04:00VII.<div style="text-align: center;">You say<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">poh-tay-toe<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I say<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">poh-tot-toe<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">You say<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">toe-may-toe<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I say<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">toe-mot-toe<br /></div><br />Then i just give up and agree with you,<br />because it's probably easier.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1778108660980682285.post-69182655520637090952009-10-31T01:11:00.000-04:002009-10-31T01:12:53.428-04:00VI.<div style="text-align: center;">Omnificent 3rd Person<br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: right;">is my favorite kind of person.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0