XVII.

Hug?

Art Work By Stephanie De John

XVI.

Dear Lady in the car next to me who is doing her make up and is in curlers,

Nice.

Love,
Stephanie

XV.

 I'm thinking of Writing a Children's Book-

The Most Awkward Halloween Party

By Stephanie De John

XIV.

I signed into myspace for the first time in a long time

and i had a bunch of messages

"Hey sweetie, add me"

"Lookin hot, we should talk sometime"

and so on and so forth.

But there is just one that is so good i have to share it with the world.

Title: Please Endeavor to Reply

Subject:
Hi ya, I enjoyed going through ya profile. Its very interesting u know....I wanna know you better....I like making my friends happy....There is this saying that whatever you give to a woman she multiply it and give it to you double....Example give her money...she give you a palatable meal....Give her a warm smile...she give you happiness at home....Give her sperm...She give you a lovely kid.....Cheerio pretty...

He was from Nigeria though, so maybe this is an acceptable pick up line.

 And i thought the worst pick up line i've ever gotten was:
"I'd like to gang bang you, without the gang."

XIII.

Are people shocked at this news?

Because all I can think when I read the Headline:

"Pet Bear Kills Pennsylvanian Woman"

is:

Well, Yeah. It's a bear.

XII.

So....

Where are all those nice,
                                 awkward,
                                          borderline creepy,
                                                         wildly attractive,
                                                                      geeky guys
                                                                                that the movies tell us exist?

XI.

Driving down the road, I saw a sign that said:

"GIVE BLOOD"

So I did.






I'm beginning to get the feeling that i'm very impressionable.

X.

When People ask me "What's good?"

I sincerely have no idea how to answer them.

Do I say- "Nothing much."?
That sounds very pessimistic.

But if i say-

"Massages."

"Kobe Beef."

or

"Zombies"

I get looked at funny.

I'm just trying to answer your question.

IX.

You know your friends think you have bad taste in men

When they try to set you up and you have to ask

"Does this one have a job?"

And they reply,

"Since when does that matter?"

VIII.

"Just for Men" commercials

really just shout out Mid-Life Crisis.

VII.

You say

poh-tay-toe

I say

poh-tot-toe

You say

toe-may-toe

I say

toe-mot-toe

Then i just give up and agree with you,
because it's probably easier.

VI.

Omnificent 3rd Person

is my favorite kind of person.

V.

Sometimes I miss having gay friends around...

there's no one around to pick out clothes for me...

or assure me that it's ok to drink as long as it's almost 12pm.